“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
I waited. I hoped. I prayed. I tried to be patient. I was afraid I was too weak. Sometimes I wondered if I would ever be able to do it again. It’s been 3 months since I have felt secure enough to run alone. I missed the calm of my solo runs. I longed to soar like an eagle on a windy day.
It’s been 3 months since I felt that weird feeling in my stomach that I recognized as trouble on the horizon. I looked at my image in the rearview mirror and saw the twitching in my face and neck. I felt it moving down my shoulder into my arm. I felt the numbness in my face and lips and I knew what was coming. I got off the road immediately and turned the car off, pulled the keys out of the ignition and put them in the seat beside me and let nature take its course for the next little while. I’ve learned to handle life’s emergencies and not freak out. Hey, I don’t mind sitting on the furniture display in a store and waiting for my husband to come and get me either. Move along people, there is nothing to see here, and by the way, don’t buy this furniture because it is not comfortable, in case you wondered.
After the seizure several months ago there were 3 more over the next month. We added an additional medication and after playing around with the dosing, I think things are better under control, but it comes with new side effects. This time I’m not the devil’s twin sister, at least I don’t think I am (no comments from the peanut gallery please), but it does make me very dizzy, very very dizzy. I’m not afraid of working out at the gym because I’m in a class setting and the instructor knows about my health condition. I run with a group and they all know about my health issues, so I am safe when I run with them. But, I haven’t been ready to run on my own. I have always carried a cell phone if I am alone, but these new meds are different and this dizziness is different and I have to be sensible.
This morning I felt good. I felt strong. The hills didn’t seem quite so steep and the mileage didn’t seem quite so long. When we got to the 8 mile mark it was time to turn left and head back in. My two runner chicks were ready to head in, but my legs weren’t, and my head wasn’t. I guess my face showed it. Sharon, who first introduced me to running in 2004, saw it in my eyes because she looked right at me and said “You are not done are you?” I looked to my right, and the only place to run is uphill, and I knew I would be running solo for the first time in 3 months if I decided to do it. Hmm…. “Yeah, you two head in and I’m turning right and running up this hill and adding on a mile.”
As I turned and began running alone I only heard my breath, my footsteps, the swishing of my arms and legs. This was so different. Even though we may separate some as we run, I can always hear others nearby, but when we go in opposite directions there is complete silence. I was alone. For the first time in 3 months I was on a solo run. I was over 8 miles into my run, solo for the first time and feeling stronger than ever, heading up the dreaded Knox Hill, because I wanted to, because I could, and loving every minute of it. WHAT?! Who said that? Did I say that?
OK. Wait for it. Wait for it. This is the moment when I remind myself that I’m supposed to buckle my seatbelt, put on a helmet and HOLDFAST for a wild ride. “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
On this beautiful windy February morning, God reminded me that I have put my hope in Him and He has renewed my strength. He gave me wings to soar like an eagle and I ran, and I ran, and I ran, and I was not weary, and I was not dizzy, and I did not faint.
I am blessed, because He has blessed me. It is that simple. He has blessed me.
Copyright © Gatewood Campbell, February 2012