I Really Am Counting

If I am being totally honest, I have been mentally waiting for today, the halfway mark, so I can begin the downward ride on this rollercoaster. I have 3 months left until I gain my wings again. Every 3 or 4 nights I have this recurring dream that I take off in the car because I have forgotten that I’m not supposed to drive. Then every once in a while I have a dream that I get in the car to drive and I have forgotten how to drive. I also dream that I have forgotten how to get anywhere because I don’t pay attention to where I am going because I’m not driving.

Oh the dreams I have on these new meds. That is a whole Lifetime Series! They are crazy dreams, and they are so real that I confuse my dreams from reality. I wouldn’t even call it a circus. It’s more like being on steroids while riding on a raft flowing upstream with the Village People through an international bazaar in Arizona. Nothing really fits, if you get my point. Every morning it takes me about 30 minutes to come back to earth. But, the meds seem to be working. I haven’t had any major seizures. The physical side effects are minimal and I think I am coping okay with the mental side effects (Johnny is the real judge of that). I still have several more weeks until I am completely off the old and on the new and then it takes a few weeks of the new magic juice to really know if we have the winner, but all signs are good.

I’ve been home for 4 months now. It feels like a year has passed. I feel like I should have accomplished more than just laundry. My husband tells me it’s ok. I’m going with his vote. I’ve learned to navigate the bus system. I love the freedom that gives me. I don’t have to try to figure out multiple schedules or make a bunch of phone calls. The biggest change on this med is that I really have to break things down into very VERY simple terms. It gets difficult when things take more than 3 or so steps. Trying to arrange getting the kids somewhere for a specific time can be the most confusing activity for me. Getting myself a ride somewhere and figuring out where they are going too can do me in. If I can just hop on the bus and skip calling around and organizing rides, it is a breeze. I love that!

We are so fortunate to live in town, close to many things, close to friends and close to our family. People have been so gracious. We have several friends who give rides to the boys every single week to various things, and we are so thankful. The cars just show up and the kids just head out the door and it has become routine. These are gifts for which we will never be able to repay. Kudos to my Mom who takes me literally everywhere!

I’m doing okay. I love my God who gives me each day. I love my husband and my family and my dog. I love my friends and I’m thankful for the help we have had. We are truly blessed. I think God chose the strongest rib from Adam when He created Eve, because on whole, women are pretty strong and determined to get through whatever comes our way. Can I get an Amen?

Thank you for all of the love and support you have been to our family. It takes a village (not the Village People) to make this family operate and without your help it would be a circus! So, for now, looking forward to another successful 3 months! I will resume quietly counting.

© Copyright Gatewood Campbell, April 2014

 

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