It has been more than a quick minute since I sat down to this blank screen to share. Over the last couple of months I have pondered the meaning and usefulness of this blog. If it serves nothing more than an avenue for me to throw caution to the wind and speak…as if I don’t do that on a daily basis…it is worthwhile.
Six and a half weeks ago I regained my driving privileges. Twenty two months ago I lost that. Do you know the county in which I live? New roads! New highways! Closed roads! New roundabouts! Can I tell you that the gas pumps are far more complicated now than they were 2 years ago? I wish all of you could have seen me pumping gas for the first time! It was comical in ways I can not describe! This week I refilled my tank without any issues and I was so excited I wanted to dance a jig at the gas tank. I wanted to shout to everyone that I figured it out. Alas, I realized people may think I was crazier than I really am, so I celebrated quietly…but I celebrated!
A month ago I realized my life changing accident had been more than 10 years ago. I look at my 12 year old, almost tall enough to look me eye to eye, and I recall looking at him just 16 months old and wondering how to move on. My oldest, now 17, was only 7, and in the first grade. We wrestled with how he might adjust to our changes. The morning of my accident I went and read a book to his classroom. It is engrained in my memory. I can recall all those innocent eyes looking into mine and waiting for each word. For the record, that teacher was the most incredible teacher my oldest ever had. Another sign that God’s hand was on our family. To this day when I see her, she calls my oldest by name and asks how he is doing. God’s plans, not ours.
Today I am registering that young man for housing at the college of his choice. Life has moved forward regardless of the obstacles that showed up. My son is writing his senior exit project about epilepsy, the treatment, the stigma and how life goes on. We have all grown in ways I can not describe because of this illness. I continue to see how my own health has opened the eyes of my children in ways I could not have taught them. They have learned by experience to show love, compassion and acceptance. These are traits I am glad my children exhibit.
Life goes on. In wealth, in health, in sickness and in death. Life goes on. What matters is that our foundation is firm. My foundation is in Jesus Christ. He is the creator and author of my life. Each day I must wake up and submit to His will for me. I must make the choice to trust in Him and only Him. He knows that I have a long list of reasons why I can not trust doctors! So I have to trust Him. Many days I awake forgetting to rest in Him. Those days spin right, left, up and down. I am reminded…in whom do I trust?
After nearly two years of seclusion I was not really ready to be thrust back into the world. I have had a bit of a culture shock. Over the weeks I have realized this, and begun to take things as they come, and as stupid as they come. I am not offended by those that beep their horn at me or give me the finger. “Move along” is what I say.
Before I was back on the road we had some rather large bumps that our family continues to work through each day. It serves as a blessed reminder to me to slow down and enjoy the road that I am allowed to travel. Today as I read my devotional, the first words said “Trust Me one day at a time…..Exert your will to trust Me in all circumstances. Don’t let your need to understand distract you from My presence.” I felt like a kid in the Presbyterian church and felt the need to close my book and bow my head repeating “this is the word of our Lord. Amen.” The devotion continued and reminded us that God equips us for each day, one day at a time and we will live in victory. “Trust Me one day at a time.”
This I must remind myself daily…trust in MY Lord one day at a time. I need not worry about tomorrow because it will worry for itself. I must tell myself every day to lean on Him, share my worries with Him and He will carry me to the next day.
Thank you to those of you following my blog, praying for my family and praying for all good things to come to us. I am thankful for each of you as you are my adopted family willing to listen to my heart’s cry.
Copyright © March, 2016 Gatewood Campbell