Spring is coming, slowly, but it is coming. Flowers are blooming, trees are providing shade and the ever present pollen indicates spring will be in full swing any day now. It’s the dawning of a new season.
Seasons change and sometimes the start of a new season is predictable and expected. We anticipate it and we know how to respond. Sometimes the start of a new season takes us by surprise. Those seasons can stop us in our tracks and grip us by circumstances beyond our control and outside of our imagination. For me, a track ended in Target, in Gymboree, at my Grandfather’s grave and at my Grandmother’s bedside the evening she passed.
Each time the track ended, I was paralyzed with fear and confusion. The rules of the world say you walk on, no matter what. The rules of faith say we walk on, even when the path is invisible. That’s what I did, I walked on the invisible path where God led me. Looking back there were obvious seasons I was walking beside God, in agreement with His path. Sometimes He was chasing me, pleading for my attention so I would return to His path. There have been many seasons I tiptoed behind Him, questioning every step and walking delicately as to not leave a footprint thinking I had surely been led astray. Then there were seasons that I followed behind him planting each foot firmly on the ground, knowing this was where He wanted me. I followed behind Him, because it was uncomfortable and I needed Him to motion for me, but His guidance was clear and so I was strong enough to walk strong and tall.
My fall changed my life. I thought it was a season of loss. Over the years, now looking back, I see it was actually a season of growth; growing in my faith and in following the invisible path that God had set before me. Sometimes there were forks in the road and I had to make choices. There were also paths that had no choice. I had to trust God and step out.
This has been a season of grieving, growing and grooming. The loss of my Grandmother took me by surprise. I still reach for the phone every morning at 9:15 and my car naturally heads north on Tuesdays and Fridays. I will always miss her and that won’t change. What will eventually change is how I miss her and how firmly I’m able to step forward each day knowing that God walks ahead of me, motioning for me to move forward with Him.
I’m growing in my faith as I immerse myself in God’s word and sit in silence while He speaks to me. His messages, though from a variety of sources, all have common themes. This is a season for me to remain still and quiet while he strengthens me with His love and understanding. He is mending my broken heart and refueling me with His perfect love.
I’m confident God is grooming me for something. I’m approaching another fork in the road, yet this time there is no choice for me to make or to control. God is sovereign. Romans 8:28 tells us “We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”. He has carried me through a gazillion seasons that have brought me here and He won’t abandon me now.
I expected the arrival of spring. I didn’t expect to lose my Grandmother. The loss is greater because our love was deeper and so the sting is deeper. When this season in my life ends, God will bring me forth into a new season and I will be stronger having been gripped by the healing power of His perfect unconditional love and His greatness. God expected the arrival of spring and He chose the day when He called my Grandmother home.
In this season of grieving, growing and grooming, God is still working all things together for good to those who love God.
Copyright © Gatewood Campbell, May 2013
I am so very proud of you. Thank you for painting such lovely pictures with your words and for sharing your artwork with us all.
Amen….beautiful. Nana loves you Give thanks with a grateful heart!
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