I was at the carwash today and making conversation with a polite young man. He told me he was home from college and just started his freshman year. I congratulated him on a wise choice since he’s attending a family member’s alma mater. We struck up a bit of a conversation so I asked him what he was studying and quickly followed it by telling him it was 100% FINE if he didn’t know yet. He laughed and shared his major with me. I congratulated him, wished him well and tipped VERY well.

That brief conversation got me thinking about my own college years, graduating and getting my first job. I graduated in August 1995 and married in October 1995. Yea, I was young, and today I so appreciate my Mom and my husband’s parents didn’t try to talk us out of it because we were too young. Twenty-nine years later…we were right about our decision. I remember talking with Johnny about what I wanted to do when I graduated. I had worked since I was 16, worked part time all the way through college and I really didn’t want to work full time. I told him I wanted a job that made a difference in people’s lives. He laughed and said something like don’t we all? But I knew it in my bones. I was made to have a direct connection to people. I went to work shortly after our wedding at a local church as the part time secretary. The church grew and my part time job moved to full time. I was doing “the thing”. I was investing in people and making a difference. I was there for 13 years and worked my way through a series of jobs, eventually “retiring” from full time ministry as the Director of Membership. I had fulfilled my goal, and I knew something else was coming.

I made the decision to leave after developing post traumatic epilepsy after an accident, a mild traumatic brain injury and the seizures had become unpredictable. It was clearly time to take time for my family and myself. I (mostly) worked on myself but was also dedicated to improving the lives of others. I started helping my grandmother several times a week. She voluntarily relinquished her car keys and I stepped in as her driver, errand runner and anything in between. We loved our days togethers. She taught Hunter how to count change while I tidied her apartment and eventually her nursing care room. Mom and I were cuddled up with her in a twin bed when she passed. To this day I treasure that moment. I made a difference, and she made a tremendous difference in my life.

A dear, dear friend in Davidson became ill from some health issues. Mom and I were close to him and I offered him my assistance. He accepted. I spent several years doing for him what I had done for my grandmother, until his tragic death. Even after his passing I continued honoring him by clearing out his belongings to prepare for the settling of his estate. I saw it through till the end. I made a difference in his life and in his death. He trusted me, and I fulfilled his trust.

Johnny’s dad suffered unfortunate effects of a surgery with unexpected consequences and he required intense attention and monitoring. I became vital in assisting my mother-in-law with him. The family trusted me to seek his best options, convey that to them and to his doctors. I had a lot of “on the job training” with the medical field and I put it to work for my precious Poppie. God called him home and once again, my heart was empty, but I knew I had made a difference in his life just as he did I mine.

Mom had cancer for decades but in the fall of the same year our Poppie passed, her heart started causing problems. I woke at the crack of dawn to arrive at the hospital when visiting hours began (recall COVID times…so strict) and I quickly established myself as a force. We sort of settled the heart issues and cancer stole her April 14, 2022. The weeks leading up to her passing were horrific and the loss remains devastating. But, I rest in the knowledge that I did all the things, asked all the questions and made the doctors do anything she, and I, demanded of them. I made a difference, and most importantly, Mom knew that I had her back. I will never regret the tireless days devoted to my Mom.

After her passing, I intentionally dedicated two years to healing. Yes, I had fulfilled my goal to make a difference in the live’s of others but I needed to invest in myself. I needed private time to process and to heal. From the time I was 14, Mom and I had been partners in life, survival (and also in crime) and I needed to figure out what this life without her meant. We promised Mom we would go see her family in Germany and also Greece, her favorite place in the world. We did just as we promised and have a lifetime of memories from that amazing trip. She wanted Johnny and me to make her Black Mountain home our own and we have done just that. We kept her spirit and also ditched practical for comfort. Come visit, you will understand.

I desperately sought things to occupy my whirlwind mind and art classes became a great distraction. I enjoyed my quick one day summer craft classes on vacation in Montreat so I welcomed opportunities for the same year round. A good friend knew I loved anything glass. She sent me a link to a glass class nearby and I checked it out. Have you ever sent someone a link to something and thought nothing of it? Well, this link was a door opening that has breathed life into me. I discovered a cozy little pottery studio in nearby Denver and took a glass blowing class which I loved. Note, do not take a glass blowing class if you are still recovering from a cold, it makes it a real challenge (you’re welcome). We lost Mom on April 14, 2022 and I noticed this studio had a class on April 14, 2024 building a tree out of sea glass. Focusing my mind on creating something beautiful on the anniversary of her passing seemed like a far better use of my time than grieving. I booked it, of course. I created a beautiful tree that we display in Black Mountain year round. I created a memory from ashes that day.

I returned to the same studio to create a fused glass panel for a lantern. I had begun to fall in love with the studio and began easy conversations with the owner. I returned a month or so later to make a fall themed panel for the same lantern and felt some God nudges. A door was beginning to open. Then…the hurricane happened. Life was turned upside down and as many know, we have spent the last months traveling back and forth with supplies and supporting recovery. I happened to notice that studio was hiring and I also happened to know through chatting with the owner she wanted to add more diversity to her offerings and I just happen to have experience in one of those areas, clay! Knowing the timing was off given the storm, somehow my gut and my heart told me it was time to grab hold and I did. I arranged an interview. I scheduled it as I was on my way up to Black Mountain with a load of supplies. We did not have usable water yet so no showers. I interviewed in sweats, no makeup and no hair product. I was not fit for an interview, but she understood where I was headed and welcomed me just as a I was.

Johnny and I, along with a TON of help from others have provided immense help to my immediate neighbors after the storm. Several have told me they wouldn’t have survived without the supplies you sent and we delivered. A neighbor recently told me “I didn’t want for anything”. That is YOU! You sent and we drove it there and often delivered to their front doors. You were the hands and we were the feet. This gives me chills when I think about it. I’m also now working again, after 18 years, and it’s in the creative arena. I NEVER would have imagined this. I considered myself the LEAST creative person in the world. When I was about 10, I needed a costume for a church musical. Mom bought burlap and had me lie down on it and she traced me. She doubled it over and cut it out. She used that iron-on sticky tape to fuse the “dress” together. This meant I would never ever get a role that required providing your own costume. Much like cooking, I didn’t learn grow up around creative mojo and I thought I didn’t have it. Guess what?? Mom was saving it all along to give to me as healing in her passing.

I’m back to making a difference in people’s lives and I am loving every moment of it. I thrive on investing in the lives of others and encouraging them to do things they once thought impossible. Seeing the joy people experience when admiring their own work is the icing on the cake. I have been there, I know the joy in seeing the impossible come to life! I didn’t think I was creative. I didn’t think I could do it. I took classes to busy myself. Somewhere along the way and fell in love with it and realized I love, love, love teaching people they too can do it. I now teach all the fused glass classes, the sea glass tree class AND clay classes, so come see me! I AM making a difference in people’s lives and I’m embracing the joyful change that I only could have learned through losing my Mom. Life is a marathon folks, having run four of them, I understand this in the soles of my feet. You just have to keep moving, one gentle small step at a time. Be Brave in All Things, because that’s what Wookie would do.

© Gatewood Campbell, December 2024